Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Kabal Bites The Dust

Just a quick post for today to give everyone a heads up that I've decided to eliminate the page "Kabal Bites" from the contents of this blog.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about "Kabal Bites" was a page on this blog that served as a daily news feed to let readers know if there would be a blog post for the day.

Over the Christmas holidays I dropped the ball with the page and in turn it ended up not being updated for over a month. I figured its pretty easy for someone to tell if there is a blog post for the day or not simply by checking this page.

I came to the conclusion that the page was essentially pointless and redundant so it is now ancient history. I merely wanted to bring this to the attention of my readers who may have been wondering why the page disappeared.

Thank you for your time and your continuous support as a reader of "Heavy Ghetto" we will return to the story tomorrow.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Cryptic Slaughter

During my numerous visits to Sam the record man in the Bramalea City Centre, there was a certain record I kept seeing that I pondered taking a gamble on, but never did as I feared it might be terrible and a waste of my hard earned money.

Eventually my best buddy Jerry ended up acquiring it on cassette tape somehow so I finally had the chance to give it a listen. The album was entitled "Convicted" by a band named "Cryptic Slaughter"

The album cover boasted some pretty cool artwork that was reminiscent of something I would find in one of my underground alternative comic books I was so fond of. The image depicted four guys, the members of the band, in a jail cell being guarded by a uniformed skeleton. It was safe to assume they were a crossover band seeing as three of the members looked like typical thrashers, and the fourth member, the vocalist of the band, looked more like a punker, with long, black, spiked hair similar to Mr. Jonny Rotten from the Sex Pistols.

Upon my initial listen I really didn't know what to make of it. The guitar sound was a bit tinny, the bass was typical sounding, the singer had a great screeching voice similar to A.M.Q.A. and their drummer was nothing note able, in fact he pretty much played the same beat in every song. Mind you it was a blast beat before the days of grind core, and any drummer will tell you they are not the easiest beats to play. As a whole, the band was not the tightest by any means, but I've always felt a bit of looseness and sloppiness is just another element of this genre of music.

All in all this band really seemed to be lacking skills and technicality, yet for some reason I absolutely loved them! I couldn't quite put my finger on the reason why I loved them but soon enough I was able to sum it up in one word: Heart.

Even the most technical bands can fail if the members aren't a cohesive unit with heart and passion. As talented of musicians as they might be, if the love isn't there it shows through in the music. Although Cryptic Slaughter were lacking in the skill department, they had more heart than you could carry and more passion than you could imagine, which outweighed their being musically challenged. Yet another wonderful and magical element that makes up the definition of hardcore music.

Monday, 25 February 2013


One day while "moshing in the food pit" as we called it (hanging out in the food court) at the Bramalea City Centre, I was chilling with the EBS boys carrying on and having some laughs, when we were approached by a group of guys who knew them. They shot the shit for a few minutes and then they were on their way. I asked the boys who these dudes were and they informed me they were members of yet another Brampton band called F.B.I. which stood for Fucking Brainless Idiots, another acronym which you all know I hold so dearly to my heart.

From what I gathered you had to be a giant to be a member of this band, as they all seemed 7 feet tall to me, except for one of their guitarists Mike who was just shy of 6 feet. These guys were the epitome of the word "Thrasher" as they all adhered to the dress code and boasted some of the longest locks I had seen in my town.

There was another Mike in the band who played the strings, he was a tall, lanky, withdrawn looking fellow who always seemed to have the same blank, expressionless look on his face. I'd always see him sporting his D.R.I. painters cap that I was extremely envious of. For the life of me I could never and still cannot remember which Mike played bass and which Mike played guitar, if I had to guess though taller Mike would be my pick for bassist.

Their drummer Pete a.k.a. "Spidey" was also a tall, lanky fellow with jet black long hair. Despite the fact that he was a really nice guy, he had that look to him like he could possibly be a serial killer, the kind of guy you wouldn't want to piss off or run into in a dark alley, and he wailed away on his drum set with furious intensity & the look of a mad man on a mission.

Then their was "Tex" who I believe was the lead guitarist of the band but don't quote me on that His hair wasn't super long, but he boasted some tight ringlets that made me perceive him as Thrash Metal's answer to Slash from Guns n' Roses. Tex was always sporting a big toothy grin, his pearly whites sparkling like they were made of gold. Tex always seemed happy & lighthearted so I quickly assumed he was the joker of the group.

Last but not least was their vocalist, Tim. Tim was the only member of the group that didn't have long hair, in fact he was quite the opposite, he had no hair! No he wasn't bald, it was shaved by choice. Tim didn't really dress like a skinhead or a thrasher, so I chalked him up as a crossover guy, which in turn brought a crossover element to the band in my eyes and opinion.

A few weeks later I had the privilege of seeing F.B.I. perform for my first and last time, sadly I never caught another show of theirs, but the one show I did see was killer! I stood at the back of the room cooking b.t.s for me and my friends while having my ears and senses assaulted by the thrashing onslaught that was F.B.I. From what I can recall, their style reminded me of the bay area thrash sound I'd grown accustomed to listening to bands like Metallica, Exodus, & Testament. They were heavy as fuck and even though I only saw them that one time, they had a new found fan.

It was a great pleasure to get to know some of the guys over the years, and they were all great dudes who I easily got along with. Thinking back to that night I remember walking home from the party with my friends discussing how fucking heavy F.B.I. were, we had gone to see E.B.S. perform, yet we were blessed with a pleasant, unexpected surprise in F.B.I. another very important and detrimental piece to the puzzle that made up the Brampton scene.

Thursday, 21 February 2013


That band was called A.M.Q.A. which stood for Apple Maggot Quarantine Area and they were from . The tape Jay made for me had 2-4 songs of each band, and there were 4 songs by this particular band, Baby Sitter, Big Fat Muffin, Face Plant, & A.M.Q.A.

The recording wasn't the best quality by any means but that was part of what made hardcore music so magical. These kids were finding the means to get their bands out there by any means necessary, which a lot of the time meant crude 4 or 8 track recordings. This also gave the music such a rawer sound that suited it perfectly. I recall some bands re-recording older songs down the road in proper studios and to me it just didn't feel or sound as hardcore because of how polished up it was.

None the less A.M.Q.A. was some straight up radical raw crossover classic ness! I don't know what it was about them that appealed to me so much. First and foremost was the name which I thought was great. It was silly and playful yet somewhat dark and ominous sounding to me, and it was an acronym which you all know I'm a huge fan of.

The guitar sound was so raunchy and rambunctious that still to this day when I hear any of their riffs I want to start throwing down and boogieing. It almost had a tin can crunch quality to it if I had to try and explain it.

The bass wasn't super noticeable due to the overwhelming ness of the guitars, but it was there and was solid without question.

The drumming was some pure straight up insanity! Definitely some of the fastest I had heard to date, perhaps not the most technically sound but I've always felt a little bit of loose sloppiness is an element of punk music that makes it what it is. This drummer had some serious blast beats too before the days of death metal and grind core.

The singer was anything but that, this dude was a straight up screamer with a bit of a higher pitched voice that crackled and growled as he delivered his lyrics, but he also did a bit of cleaner sounding stuff on other recordings I discovered many moons later. With all that combined they just killed it and they had an amazing energy and chemistry about them.

A.M.Q.A. were without a doubt my new favourite band. I think the song "Face Plant" sealed the deal as I was a skater and here was a skater related song. I always loved discovering new bands that nobody had heard of and as I went around spreading the word it was apparent that nobody knew of these guys in my local scene. Even decades later when I brought them up amongst my hardcore elitist friends they would look at me puzzled and confused.

Over the last 10 years I've been in correspondence with Kevin a.k.a. Toast, the bands drummer and he was kind enough to hook me up with some material of theirs over the years. It was also an honour to receive great compliments from him in regards to my own music. As it stands I now have everything they ever put out with the exception of 2 or 3 songs that were on a compilation that nobody seems to have available. I took it upon myself to create a bandcamp page for the band a few years ago to preserve the memory and the music of what I feel is a truly slept on classic act that is important to the history and the foundation of crossover music.

Enjoy and long live A.M.Q.A.

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

The Adventures of Zany Mandrill

After "Music Plex" opened in Brampton, me and the boys would usually hang out there on a fairly regular basis. For those who don't know the "Plex" is a music store that opened in B-Town, it catered to musicians. You could buy drums, guitars, or whatever else you needed for your musical pleasures. Normally when we went there Craig and Jerry would be checking out guitars while I was browsing the drums, microphones, and the magazine rack.

One day while hanging out there we started talking with one of the new employees. His name was Jay and he had just moved down here from the western coast of Canada. If I remember correctly Jay started talking to us because he had noticed whatever band shirts we were wearing at the time. Turned out he was also big into thrash and hardcore.

Jay was a super nice guy and a pretty kick ass drummer, he had left the dreams of his band "Zany Mandrill" behind to venture out east. Jay was one hell of a drummer and he was always half heartedly complaining that our band already had a drummer in Ryan.

Before long Jay was hanging outside of work with us on a personal basis, he didn't know anyone period so we were his new family. Jay was now an official part of our clan, he now hung out at the mall with us as well as came to all the parties with us, and one of the coolest and beneficial things about him was the fact he was of legal age to purchase alcohol for us minors.

The thing I loved the most about Jay however was the fact he was so eager to introduce me to all sorts of bands I had never even heard of. Jay invited me over to his place once, well his room in the boarding house he was living in downtown Brampton. I had never been in such a place and I found it rather bizarre. We sat in his crammed little room listening to his choice selections while I went through his record bins with a fine tooth comb. Jay had all kinds of cool looking albums from quite a few bands I had never heard of. We didn't have the time to delve into everything so Jay decided to make me a mix tape.

The next time I saw Jay he had the mix tape ready for me just as promised and he didn't fail to deliver. I was introduced to shock rockers "The Mentors" three fat guys who looked like your typical fathers wearing black kkk hoods. Jay also introduced me to "Nardcore" a scene made up of several bands from the Oxnard area in Southern California, the most noteworthy bands being Dr.Know and Rich Kids on LSD.

It seemed that no sooner than the tape was placed in my hands, Jay disappeared like a thief in the night. We went to Musicplex only to find out he didn't work there anymore. I was very saddened that my new friend had upped and vanished, I was even concerned as he had no family down here. I suspected the worst. Eventually I got a letter in the mail from Jay one day, he had moved back out west to pursue his dream as a musician. We kept in contact for awhile via snail mail but eventually that stopped and we never spoke again.

Jay definitely left his mark on me and he has always been in my thoughts. Even now 25 years later I still find myself occasionally trying to locate him on the Internet, he just made that much of an impact in the small amount of time he was in my life.

There was one band on the tape Jay made for me however that really caught my attention and I am forever indebted to him for that, to this day when I listen to them I am filled with happy thoughts and memories of him...

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

The Legend Of Curious Mold

When my buddy John McCuish was incredible enough to give me a copy of the Epileptic Brain Surgeons demo, he neglected to mention any details about it, or even merely explain what was awaiting for me on the flip side of the tape.

Much to my surprise there was a demo recording on the other side of the tape from yet another local band called Curious Mold. I immediately questioned John about this and came to find out that both bands had recorded their demos in the same day at the singer from Curious Mold's house. Or maybe they recorded in John's basement, I can't quite remember now. John went on about how much he loved their music and how great of guys they were. Word had it they would party at his house on weekends while both bands jammed.

As I delved into the demo I became more impressed and more energized as the tape played on. Mold were punk to say the least, and much like their pals in EBS they definitely had a sense of humour which came through in the music. With song titles like "I wanna be an anarchist but my parents won't let me" it was safe to say these guys were on the comical side. They even had their own renditions of the Sesame Street theme song as well as James Bond's theme from the 007 films.

Mold brought it all to the table, speed, heavy ness, comedic elements, cover songs, and they even payed homage to our home town of Bramalea in one song. Mold had their own dance affiliated with them as well, the "Pogo" which is pretty self explanatory. Even the pogo had its own song "Pogo or Die" complete with a fancy intro in the vein of Suicidal Tendencies "possessed to skate"

When I finally started meeting the guys in Mold I was a bit taken back. While walking with Mike Myre in the mall one day we ran into their drummer Sean and bass player Darcy. Sean was a skyscraper of a lanky dude with long hair and he was dressed in typical thrasher fashion. Darcy seemed like a normal looking guy and he barely said a word while Sean orchestrated the conversation with exaggerated facial expressions and light hearted ness that had us all laughing.

A few weeks later I was walking through the mall with Pooh when we ran into their guitarist Jason a.k.a. Bones, who despite his averagely long hair seemed like a quiet, regular, down to earth thrasher.

Not long after I was fortunate enough to be hanging with the EBS boys one weekend when they revealed the fact there was a small party going on at the singer of Mold's house. His name was Mike but everyone called him Beekford, or Beek for short. McCuish was always going off about how Beek was the man, but once I finally met him I couldn't figure out why. Beek looked like some normal, generic dude. He didn't dress like a punk or have anything that really stood out about him....until he opened his mouth. Within minutes I could see why everyone praised him so much, the guy was hilariously funny, the life of the party, and everything that came out of his mouth seems like words of gold to me.

I finally got to see Mold perform at a basement party in Brampton and it was awesome, especially since I was now familiar with their tape and I could sing along and thrash out to their tunes. Beek was one hell of a frontman who commanded your attention and had you hanging off his every word.

Sadly I never got to see them perform much nor did I really get to know them or become friends with them until decades later, but in my mind they were the ones who started the whole hardcore scene in my hometown of Brampton.

There may have been others before them that I don't know of that will forever remain ignorant to me, but as far as I'm concerned my opinion stands as such: without Mold there would never have been a scene that led me down the path of getting into playing in bands.

Even though I had a band before I knew of Mold its the six degrees of separation that have brought me to this conclusion. Long live the memory of the kings of 80s Bramalea G-section basement hardcore punk rock! Without you there is no us...

Monday, 18 February 2013

North of Hell

No sooner than I had acquired my copy of "Reign In Blood" I caught wind that Slayer had a new record that was being released, I read about it in one of my metal magazines where I got all the inside scoops, or maybe I read it in Thrasher magazine...none the less there was a new Slayer album coming out and I was pumped up about it!

As soon as the chance presented itself to me, I was on the first Go bus to Toronto, home of the infamous record peddler. When I walked in the first thing that caught my eye was the new Slayer album in all it's glory, emblazoned with their sharp logo, and a big skull with an upside down cross through it, looking like some gnarly stained glass window into hell. The album title was quite suitable for Slayer as well, "South of Heaven" I also picked up a cassette from a punk band my good old pal John McCuish had introduced me too, they were called Minor Threat and the release was called "Filler" the cover photo was of a skinhead punk sitting on some grungy steps with his head hung low, almost in defeat...but this tape was nothing but winning!

Filler was similar to Reign in Blood in one aspect, the songs were so short and energetic, to the point that the entire album fit on one side of the cassette and all was repeated on the second side. Minor Threat weren't necessarily heavy since they were a punk band and not a metal band, but they delivered their songs with equal speed, aggression and conviction that was parallel to any thrash band. Every song was solid and I just couldn't stop listening to it over and over again. Minor Threat was my first step across the bridge into a new world of hardcore punk.

I finally peeled myself away from the tape player and dropped South of Heaven on the turn table. This album was quite different from Reign in Blood but it was still incredible and jam packed full of killer songs. Slayer seemed to slow the tempo down a bit on this release but there was still an abundance of speed. The songs just seemed more structured with a lot of signature changes. They had definitely evolved and matured as a band yet they still stayed true to the Slayer formula, and they were quickly becoming one of my all time favourite bands.

Still soaring from the high of this new Slayer album, I caught wind that Slayer were coming to Toronto to perform on their 1988 "World Sacrifice Tour" and it was finally time for me to goto my first real concert...

Friday, 15 February 2013

Reign In Blood

Haunting The Chapel was a fairly decent Slayer album but it was also the only Slayer album I owned so I didn't have much to judge or compare it with, until one specific day.

There was nothing special about this day, I woke up, showered, went to school for the day, went home, had dinner with the family, and then headed to the Bramalea City Centre like any other regular old day.

While putting my hours in as a dedicated mall rat, I was in HMV records, a newer music store that had opened in the mall. As per usual the clerks paid me no attention, as they were used to seeing me in there rummaging through the record bins. HMV now had what I refer to as a "dump bin" full of cassettes. A dump bin is a small display that is usually full of random items that are being sold at a sale price. On this particular day there were two cassette tapes in the dump bin that caught my eye and my attention, "out of the dark...into the light" by "Kreator" and "Reign In Blood" by "Slayer" I swiftly slipped both tapes into my pockets and got the fuck outta dodge.

I was so excited to listen to the tapes that I dipped out of the mall early and headed home. Kreator were pretty cool but the cassette didn't leave that great of an impression on me, the Slayer tape on the other hand blew my mind! The entire album was just shy of 30 minutes in length and this was the first tape I'd ever seen with side a and side b all on one side of the tape. The other side was exactly the same, two sides on one side.

The music was a lot different in comparison to "Chapel" this was a straight out thrashing assault of the senses. The songs were, short, fast and heavy as hell! The song "Necrophobic" became my instant favourite as I had never heard something so fast! Even with the lyrics included in the cassette sleeve it was hard to follow along. The opening track "Angel of Death" was definitely the masterpiece of this release, re telling the story of the Nazi holocaust, and it had that killer riff I was so familiar with from the power hour intro on much music as well as Public Enemy's "She watch channel zero"

The album cover was quite interesting and unlike any cover I had ever seen. It looked like a painting from the renaissance period and it reminded me of something I'd seen in art class during the art history portion, somewhat in the vein of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.

I rarely ever listened to "Chapel" again because in my opinion this release was light years ahead of it and it was the epitome of the true Slayer sound. I never imagined it at the time, but Reign In Blood would live on in history as a timeless classic, and Angel of Death would go down in the books as quite possibly the greatest thrash song ever created!

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Dis iz why I'm hot

Well here I am apologizing yet once again for dropping the ball this week on blog post entries. I spent the first half of the week being trained for my counter balance operators license. For all you simpletons reading this, I am referring to a fork lift. As happy as I am to be fully licensed now, it did cut into my time enough that I didn't get a chance to write. So here I am now finally putting words down.

Although my time has been tight this week I did manage to produce a new track for my ongoing remix project. The new track is a remix of "Dis iz why I'm hot" by Die Antwoord. If you've never heard of them, Die Antwoord are a South African hip hop/techno group consisting of three members, Ninja, Yolandi and DJ Hi-Tek.

My good friend and former band mate Mike Myre introduced me to Die Antwoord (translated as "the answer") last summer. At first I wasn't really that impressed with them but I couldn't deny the fact that they had skills, and their music videos were quite stimulating to the mind. One day I decided to show my son Gabriel one of their videos. Gabe was quite taken back by it and he found the video somewhat disturbing. Despite all that he couldn't stop singing the song for the rest of that particular weekend he was with me.

Over the last 6 months Gabe has requested to watch their videos on YouTube every time he is staying with me. Needless to say the group has really grown on me since. Two weeks ago we were watching their video for "dis iz why I'm hot" when the video ended there was a message stating that you could download the acapella version of the song from their website and create your own remix for the song with it.
Since Gabe loves them so much and I have an appreciation for them as well now, I decided to do my own version of the song that I have dubbed the "Reek Mix" as I was partaking in some "reek kush" when I made it. You can have a listen to the song at the link below and it is also available for free download.

For more information on Die Antwoord be sure to check out their official homepage at:

Friday, 8 February 2013

Heavy Metal Party pt. 2

After a week of anticipation that felt like a month, Friday was finally here, the day of the party! When lunch hour hit I headed down to the plaza for lunch so I could give the guys the details and address. Once the final bell rang I rushed home excitedly to prepare for the evenings festivities. Jerry and I would be attending the party as partners in crime. I don't recall how we did it, but somehow we acquired a 24 case of beer to split, if memory serves correct it was Molson Canadian. I don't remember how we got to the party but I'm assuming we took a taxi or got a ride from Jerry's brother, to avoid getting fined by the police for being underage in public with alcoholic beverages.

We were so eager for this night to begin that we ended up going to Lydia's fashionably early, like 5pm or so. There were just a handful of people there, most of whom were helping Lydia with the preparation for the party. Jerry and I cracked a beer, lit our cigarettes, and found a comfy place to sit. Over the next few hours people sporadically started showing up, but not the people we were waiting for. Finally around 8pm the dudes showed up. There was Noel, Spicoli, Dove, Chunk, James, Cummer, and a few others who's faces elude me. We greeted the guys and joined them sitting in a circle on the floor. By this time Jerry and I were already halfway through our case of beer.

It didn't take long before the joints surfaced and started working their way around the circle. A few people who we didn't know were trying to get in on the action but the boys would have no part of them. They did however offer to sell some hash to these strangers who willingly accepted the offer. I don't even really recall seeing much of Lydia that night even though she was my girlfriend. Since she was the hostess she had her hands full with all the party goers, as I had my hands full of doobies and my new found friends. As the party was going on around us we never broke our circle for the entire night, it was almost as if we were having our own party within the party, which was fine with me as I was taking the opportunity to try and bond with my new buddies.

It felt like we were down in that basement forever, when in reality it was only about 10pm. The next thing I knew Lydia's older brother showed up with a group of his buddies. They proceeded to kick everyone out of the house so they could have their own personal party. As soon as I hit the fresh air the 12 beers and countless spliffs hit me like a ton of bricks. I lied down on the front lawn watching the star filled sky spin around me in circles. One of the guys was slowly walking down the street puking every few steps, creating one long runway of barf down the road. All the guys thanked me for inviting them and they all headed in separate directions respectively to retire home for the evening.

As me and Jerry began walking we noticed Spicoli stumbling down the street a few metres ahead of us. I called out "Hey Shayne, where do you live? Which way are you walking" to which he responded "Mine! Mine! Mine! It's all mine!" the famous line Daffy Duck would use when he was blinded by greed. I continued trying to communicate with him but it was hopeless so we left him alone and continued our journey home. I had never been this messed up in my life! I couldn't walk a straight line to save my life and I kept cutting Jerry off of the sidewalk. I believe I ended up crashing at his place that night.

Even though the party was cut short it was a blast and a half, and to this day it still stands in my mind as one of the best parties I have ever attended. It also stands as a right of passage and the pinnacle of me getting in with the guys that I longed to become friends with. It was the beginning of a new chapter in my life...

Thursday, 7 February 2013

Heavy Metal Party pt.1

While the scent of fall was fresh on the falling leaves, an event of epic proportions was about to take place. My girlfriend Lydia, one half of the Sacrifice sisters was throwing a party. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to seal a spot amongst the older thrasher guys that I looked up to and admired. I knew they loved to party so I figured what better way to solidify a new friendship, I would invite them all. Of course I double checked with Lydia to make sure it was cool with her....or did I?

Pizzaville was once again the backdrop. A few of the dudes were hanging out in there as usual, eating slices and pumping quarters into video games. I came in and asked one of the guys they called "Chunk" if there was anything going on this weekend. He shook his head from side to side and replied "Naaaaw" I could clearly hear the disappointment in his voice. I casually stated "oh my girlfriend is having a party this weekend do you want to come?" Suddenly Chunk's eyes widened and his smile rose like the morning sun, he eagerly responded "yeah???" I said "Yeah man, you guys are all welcome to come" By this time the rest of the guys were paying me their full undivided attention and the spotlight was on me. Here was this dirty skater punk, a saviour, blessing the guys with a party on what would have been a dry boring weekend for them, something they were not accustomed to. The next thing I knew the guys were all chatting me up, asking questions, and treating me like I was one of them.

I suppose bribery had something to do with their new found interest and time for me and I accepted that. After all that was kind of my plan in the first place, dangle the carrot and the donkey will follow. Nowadays I'm not the type to try and buy people's acceptance or friendship but to a naive high school kid it's one of the only ways to gain acceptance at times.

Needless to say I was quite happy. as the week progressed the guys were talking to me every day and treating me like an equal despite the age difference. I don't know who was more excited for the party, me or them. Regardless of that, the stage was set, the seed was planted, and come Friday night it would be time to party with my new friends...

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Off The Waller

Hanging out with Mike and Pooh definitely came with its benefits, like meeting a whole new circle of friends from all walks of life, punks, thrashers, skin heads etc. as well as former EBS members and current ones, like their vocalist Steve Waller.

Steve was a bit on the shorter side and was usually adorned with converse sneakers, camouflage army pants, chinguacousy hockey jacket, staple punk band t-shirt, and bandana. Although I've mentioned Steve before in this blog I am currently referring to the first time I met him, which was in the old food court of the Bramalea City Centre. Steve was a ball of energy, very similar to the way he was while performing on stage with EBS. Like the rest of the surgeons, Steve had a very comical nature to him and it was plain as day to see that he was a good guy.

One day he showed me his homemade tattoos that his friend Bryce did for him. Steve had two tattoos, both of which were images familiar to me that I adored, the Accused's mascot "Martha Splatterhead" and the Santa Cruz Slasher, one of my all time favourite skateboard graphics. With both Mike and Steve sporting tattoos, I was determined to get one sooner than later.

Steve also had a bit of a twisted and sick sense of humour, a pre requisite for being an Epileptic Brain Surgeon it seemed. I truly believe that Steve got a kick out of shocking people and/or making them uncomfortable or grossed out at their own expense so he could have a laugh. Steve also always came out with hilarious and provocative statements, one in particular that I still remember to this day, which was "Did you know if you get a boner while you're taking a shit it means you're gay because you like the feeling of things going in and out of your ass" words of wisdom no doubt to a naive 15 year old dirt ball such as myself.

Steve also shared another common bond with the other surgeons which inspired me the most, being straight edge. For those who've been living under a rock, Straight Edge is defined as someone who doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs, or partake in sexual acts without being in love with someone. Well they all lived up to that except perhaps the sex part. I just loved how these guys were always sober yet they were so high on life. All around me my friends were relying on drugs and alcohol to have a good time, yet here were these straight guys having more fun than everybody! Anytime I hung out with EBS I knew I was in for an interesting day full of laughs and craziness. In fact I was so inspired by this that I myself decided to become straight edge. Unsurprisingly it only lasted a few days since peer pressure is a motherfucker when you're in high school, but I still appreciated and admired my straight edge friends. As far as I was concerned they were the most stable, and strongest willed people that I knew...for the time being...

Friday, 1 February 2013


Pooh was his name, well his nickname, Paul was his real name, Paul Donohoe. Just like all the other surgeons, Pooh was a super nice guy who would always take the time to stop and chat. Once I caught wind of him working at Sears with Mike, I would drop by religiously to shoot the shit with him in Sears. I'd usually meet up with him when he went on his lunch breaks as well, where nine times out of ten he would eat fries and gravy. Pooh was also a very funny guy with a great sense of humour, it was not unusual to see him red faced with a big toothy grin.

Being the hardcore sleuth I am, I set out to discover the origins behind Paul's nickname, and my work was received with multiple versions of the story. One version was that he was a big fan of Winnie The Pooh as a child. Another version was the name spawned from his eagerness to let loose tremendously loud burps and farts whenever given the chance. Yet another version laid claim to the fact they Pooh would take Polaroid pictures of his bowel movements in the toilet. Said pictures even adorned the inside of his locker at Ching high school. I came to the conclusion that all of these theories held some validity to them, and all of them combined made up the elements of the man that was Pooh.

Asides from John, Pooh was the first surgeon whoever invited me into his home, where I met "Mama D" his mother, who was quite possibly one of the nicest ladies I've ever met to date. Pooh generously baked up his favourite delicatessen for us to snack on as well, oven fries. To this day I still don't think I've met another individual who adores French fries as much as Pooh.

Pooh had a lot of great records in his collection, including one that was most dearest to his heart and very dear to mine, "American Paranoia" by "Attitude Adjustment" Pooh also had a lot of awesome "huggers" super tight t shirts adorned with the logos of his favourite bands, teams, or anything that he found amusing. He also always had the most stand out guitars, always decorated with stickers and pictures of cool and provocative things.

While we were hanging out watching a video of the last EBS show, Pooh's brother Steve came home. The guy I talked about in the Captain Caveman post. Steve had his band mates with him and they had come to jam. I had the privilege of hearing his band Distortion for my very first time, bellowing up the vents from his bedroom below in the basement that was known as "the geon" short for "the dungeon"

One day after school I was walking to 7-11 with a group of guys when I found an envelope full of pictures on the ground. The contents revealed an older lady in a hotel room with multiple men involved in a gang bang. I brought the pictures to the mall that night and everyone had a laugh over them. Pooh ended up taking the pictures and he put some up in his locker at school. Whenever anyone inquired about them, Pooh would modestly reply "Oh that's my mom" without even cracking the slightest smile. That was Pooh!