Saturday, 28 March 2015

Party Animals From Hell pt.2

I had passed out somewhere between 12 and 1 o'clock a.m. When I awoke it was somewhere between 8 and 9 o'clock am. The place looked like a war zone. Empty beer bottles and cans were scattered about all over the place. Everyone was passed out, some in beds, some on couches, some on the floor, and some were even sleeping on the beach. I was literally the only soul awake, so I decided it was time to start the party up again.

I quietly crept over to the stereo and cued up side two of Paul's Boutique by the Beastie Boys. The first song "Five Piece Chicken Dinner" kicked in, a little diddly with lots of fast strumming banjos accompanied by redneck style hooting and hollering. Of course I cranked the volume up very high. 

People immediately started rising from the dead, some of whom who had only been sleeping for a mere couple of hours. By the time the next song "Looking down the barrel of a gun" kicked in, everybody was awake and back in party mode. I took it easy that morning, only having a few puffs, but by the time noon hit, the party was back in full swing. 

I decided it was time to make myself a drink. I took a can of frozen lemonade and mixed it into a pitcher with half the bottle of 151 rum my father had given me. The pitcher had a lid with a built in plastic straw, so this would serve as my cup for the day...and night.

As the afternoon rolled into early evening, we were greeted by even more friends. Some of the guys had to work the Friday, so they couldn't make it up until the early evening. There was also a group of outsiders who had now shown up. Our cottage was right on the beach, but it stepped up a about a foot and was surrounded by wooden planks. Behind our cottage the land stepped up about 2-3 feet and it was full of a small villa of little cottages, probably about 20 or so. These cottages had been empty since we arrived, but they were now being inhabited by a large group of high school kids who had booked them. "Oh great" I thought to myself "Just what we need, a group of dumbass school kids" Naturally they were intimidated by us, so they kept their distance and avoided eye contact.

As the sun went down, we decided to get a fire going, and it was a big fire indeed. There was a lot of drift wood around the beach so it was easy to keep the flames high. The music was blasting at full volume, and our party seemed to keep getting bigger and bigger. Jay Dove had fired up the BBQ and he was serving Jamaican jerk bear. It was interesting to say the least. I tossed some pizza pops on the barbie once again and got my munch on.

By now there were at least 100-200 people partying at our site, a lot of whom I had never seen before in my life. I started talking to random strangers to find out who they were and where they came from. I seemed to get the same answer from everyone "Our cottage is a few miles up the beach. We could hear your music and see your huge fire so we decided to check it out" Even the snooty high school kids had finally grown brazen enough to come join our party. We got them to try Jay's homemade electric pipe, which ended up generating many sales for my friends who were peddling weed.

My old grade school chum Craig Beattie even showed up with a couple of dudes, so we drank and caught up. By midnight Craig was blacked out drunk stumbling around kicking sand everywhere. I asked him what was up and he told me he'd lost his car keys. Talk about a bad trip. Craig had taken a walk down the beach earlier, so he decided to retrace his steps. I watched him wander down the beach until he was out of my sight. I was slightly worried about him and I really hoped he'd find his keys. After all, how the hell would he get himself and his car home?

It was now about 3-4 a.m. and our party of hundreds was still going strong, however I was fading fast. My drink was finally done, and I could barely stand up, so I decided to call it a night. I went into my cottage but there were already people occupying all the beds. I went into one of the other cottages that was attached to ours and I found an empty bed. I plopped down and was out like a light in no time. 

At some point though, I found myself extremely uncomfortable and I woke up. I couldn't feel or move my legs. As I examined the situation I realized there were 3 or 4 other guys now passed out in the bed, and one of them, Mark Fantini, was lying horizontally across the bed on top of my legs, which were completely numb and asleep. I managed to pull myself from out under him, snagged a pillow, and moved to the floor to continue my slumber. I could still hear music, talking, yelling, and the crackling of the fire. Despite all of these noisy distractions, the Sandman came to visit quickly and I was back off to LaLa Land...

Monday, 16 March 2015

Party Animals From Hell pt.1

I was highly excited for my first May 24 long weekend experience. I had never been away for one of these, but I had heard epic stories from my older buddies of all the wacky antics and hi jinks that took place. Despite the fact that my new sweetheart was heading to a different destination than me, I was eagerly awaiting this party of the year. We had rented a large cottage that was actually 3 cottages in one on a nice private piece of Wasaga Beach. There was quite a large group of us going, so the cost was quite cheap divvied up amongst us. I had covered my cost of the cottage, but now as the long weekend approached I realized I had no money for food or party favours.

I approached my mom and dad on the subject and they were more than happy to help. I never relied on my folks for financial help, and I wasn't about to start now, but they helped me in other ways. My father donated a 26 ounce bottle of 151 Jamaican rum, and my mother offered some cans of frozen lemonade as mix. My parents also told me I could take some meat from the deep freeze in our garage as well as some food from the fridge and pantry. The deep freeze was full of high grade packaged meat. My folks had literally boughten an entire cow that year, so I loaded up my cooler with an assortment of cuts. I was now officially ready to rock.

Since it was a long weekend we headed up to Wasaga on the Thursday evening. My friend Jay Dove had rented a serious sound system that was sure to blast any opposing music into the dust. We loaded it up along with our gear and hit the road. We arrived around sundown, unpacked, settled into our rooms, then started hooking up the sound system. We ended up putting it on the kitchen counter in our cottage with the speakers set up in front of a screen window. The music was now in effect and it was LOUD.

I only had two cans of lemonade, so I decided I'd use half my bottle of rum Friday and the other half on Saturday, but what would I drink tonight? Thankfully I ended up getting a few beers from friends, and I took a couple swigs of the 151. That was more than enough to get me feeling good for the night, not to mention the endless supply of dope that was being passed around. Jay had also brought his BBQ with him, and we ended up firing it up later into the night. I threw some pizza pops on the Barbie and surprisingly they turned out amazing. They tasted ten times better than they did when cooked in an oven or microwave.

As the night rolled on, more and more friends started arriving, some of which I didn't even know were coming, as they hadn't split the costs with us. Our cottages were on a fairly decent sized lot, so most of the extra attendees had brought tents to sleep in. Some simply had decided to sleep in their cars. Needless to say I was kind of stoked that our group of 15-20 people had now doubled to about 40 friends, and word on the beach was even more of our homies would be arriving as the weekend progressed. 

I was having a grand old time, but I was exhausted as it had been a very long day. I was half in the bag, my legs were like rubber, and my mind was starting to shutdown. I figured it was time to goto sleep, but I felt like somewhat of a lightweight being the first one to hit the hay. I quietly slinked off to my room without anyone noticing and crawled in bed. It was roughly midnight and the music was still cranking, but somehow I managed to block it out and slip off into dreamland. As I faded away I thought to myself "I might be the first one in bed, but I'm going to be the first one up to bring this party back to life in the morning..."

Monday, 9 March 2015


I didn't know her name, I didn't know who she was, but I was glad Mike Campbell had brought us to this party. I spent the night admiring her from a distance, waiting for her eyes to meet mine, but they never did. As the night progressed I found myself more and more attracted to her, and the fact that she hadn't really noticed me just fueled the fire of my desires. She was short and curvy, with curly long dirty blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds. "She will be mine" I said to myself.

As the night started to wind down, a lot of the party goers had made their way outside. We were now partying on the front lawn, and some people were getting ready to head home. She was giving the business to some guy, friendly jokes, punches in the arm, etc. then the guy in question got in a car a left. I decided it was time to make my move.

I approached her to say hello and we exchanged pleasantries. After a few minutes of small talk I asked her "How come your boyfriend left?" to which she replied "Oh he's not my boyfriend" followed by a cute laugh. I then asked her "So where is your boyfriend then?" She went on to tell me she didn't have a boyfriend. I told her I found that hard to believe considering how beautiful she was. She blushed and smiled, and we sat on the curb and continued to chat. I ended up leaving with her number and her name, Tara.

The next day I called her and we talked on the phone for what seemed like endless hours. We made plans to go hang out at my friend Noel's. A few of my buddies were there, we drank, smoked, joked, listened to music and played cards. She loved crazy eights, my favourite card game. Tara was in her last year of high school, and she had class the next day, so we skipped out fairly early and she drove me home. I did my usual first date nice guy routine and didn't attempt to kiss her goodnight. I thanked her for a great evening and then headed inside the house.

Not even 10 minutes later my phone rang, and it was Tara. She proceeded to tell me how she had a really good time and how she wished I had kissed her goodnight. We ended up talking on the phone all night until the sun was almost up, and we both fell asleep while on the phone. When we both woke up and realized what had happened we were right back in our conversation. She decided she was going to skip school and come see me. We spent the morning in bed together and I'm not going to get into details but I'm sure you can do the math.

We continued to see each other for the next week or so whenever we had the chance. If we couldn't get together we would be on the phone chatting for hours. Everything was going great. I was digging her, she was digging me, and magic was in the air, but our first test was upon us. May 24 long weekend was coming up and we both already had separate plans. She would be going to Sauble Beach with her girlfriends and I would be going to Wasaga Beach with my boys, for what would be my first May Two Four excursion. This meant 3-4 days of us not seeing, talking, touching, or having any form of contact with each other. 

I was interested to see how this would all play out...