Friday, 8 May 2015

The Darkest Summer

The summer of 93' was a complete bust for me. I was working midnights full time, and it wasn't uncommon for me to work 10 days in a row due to their wacky scheduling at Loeb. The job itself wasn't bad. There was maybe a dozen of us in total working, we could listen to whatever music we wanted over the store P.A. system, and we could pretty much eat anything we wanted as long as we didn't get caught. I was constantly bringing in mix tapes to play and sneaking into the freezers for a snack.

My relationship with Tara however, was suffering greatly. While I had to goto work at 11pm every night, she would be going out drinking and parting with her friends. Being 20 years old and not trusting her friends, led me to be full of jealousy and rage every time she went out. It was quite unhealthy to say the least, as my mind was always getting the best of me. 

I'd usually take my lunch break between 2-3 am, and I'd head up to the staff lunch room for some peace and quiet. After eating alone I would head outside and partake in a doobie. From there I'd sit outside on the ground, my back against the wall, and I'd write lyrics for the remainder of my lunch break. Needless to say my pages of raps were piling up very quickly. A lot of these raps were dark and negative, I gather due to the fact I was always angry, jealous, and never saw the light of day for most of the summer.

When we weren't listening to cassette tapes during our shift, we'd usually have the radio on 102.1 The Edge. Lollapalooza was coming to town, and 102 were giving tickets away every night. Whenever you heard a band played that would be on the bill, you'd call in for a chance to win tickets. I was pretty stoked over the fact that Rage Against The Machine would be performing this year despite the fact that they were still virtually unknown and underground. I thought for sure if they played a Rage song I'd definitely be the caller to win the tickets.

As the weeks passed by I was slightly shocked and discouraged at the fact that I still hadn't heard Rage yet, so I decided to call into the station and inquire about it. I was even more shocked and slightly offended when the disc jockey told me they don't play Rage on their station. I got into it with him questioning why they wouldn't play a band who's on the bill of a show they are promoting and giving tickets away for. Apparently Rage were too hardcore for the radio station that claimed to be "alternative" I was never a big fan of 102.1 to begin with, but after this whole fiasco I vowed to always run their name through the mud whenever the chance presented itself.

I ended up becoming friends with a co-worker named Billy, so one night he and I decided to go out for some drinks together at a local pub. We were swilling pints, having a good time, and even getting attention from some young ladies. At some point one of the girls mentioned Billy had said something negative and insulting about me, so I called him out on it in drunken furious style. He ended up leaving the bar to avoid the confrontation, so I followed him out and trailed him down the street calling him on. We ended up getting into numerous scuffles but I could tell he really didn't want to fight. I ended up twisting my ankle somehow and within the next 24 hours I was on crutches and not able to work.

When I finally returned to work there was obviously tension between Bill and I, yet he wouldn't even look in my direction or come anywhere in the vicinity of me. The summer was almost over and I felt like I never got to enjoy any of it. Now having the extra bullshit at work wasn't encouraging me to want to be there, and I was sick of never getting to spend time with Tara or any of my friends. This job was definitely not having positive effects on my life, so I knew it was about time to call it quits...

Phot of Tara and I having some cold ones with 
friends before working a dreaded Loeb night shift. 

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