The darkest summer had finally ended, and I decided to quit my job. It seemed like the only logical solution to saving my relationship and saving my own mind from sinking further into hate, jealousy, and depression. Musically I was listening to mostly rap and hiphop these days. The metal scene was still kind of non existent due to the over saturation of the grunge scene, and to be honest I had grown tired of that quickly. I was still a huge fan of the first Nirvana album and I enjoyed Mudhoney too, but the other stuff never really did much for me. Temple of the dog, Pearl Jam, Screaming Trees, and all the other bands Derek played religiously just didn't appeal to me. Perhaps I didn't get it? Perhaps the music wasn't heavy enough? Needless to say I'd had my fill of Grunge music the past few years to know I was done with it.
Derek was quite ignorant towards metal music and guitar solos, so I had pretty much weened myself off of that stuff simply to appease him. Those days were done but who was really flying the flag now for metal? Slayer & Pantera were still representing. Metallica had turned to shit, and most of the 80s crossover thrash and hardcore bands were now defunct. What was a guy to do besides listen to his old records and reminisce the glory days?
I had started watching my buddy Shayne's sister after school until their father got home from work, so I got back into the swing of recording music videos off of tv. I was really only into Rap City by this point, but I'd still watch the Power Hour just to see what was going on, which wasn't much. It was either older stuff or new crap that I had absolutely no interest in. Then one day a particular video caught my eye. It was a band I had listened to once a few years back, but a band I never heavily got into. After seeing the video for a song called "Refuse/Resist" I had a new appreciation for said band. They were called Sepultura.
I'd listened to their earlier release "Beneath the Remains" a few times in the past, and although I liked it, it never really struck me as mind blowing or incredible. But now, in what I call "the dark times of metal", there was a new light shining bright and guiding the way. That light was Sepultura. I immediately went out and got ahold of their latest album entitled "Chaos A.D."
The band was from Brazil, but that didn't matter one bit. In fact it made them cooler in my eyes, and I loved the broken English within the vocals. They were fast, heavy, crushing, and their breakdowns were brutal. The type of shit that made me want to jump back in the pit and clobber fools. I hadn't felt like that in awhile. Chaos A.D. was an incredible album. As I listened through the first time doing my usual reading of the lyrics, I was surprised to discover that every song was solid. There was nothing weak about this album whatsoever, nor were there any weak songs in my opinion. It was nice to have metal back.
I had become so absolved by rap that I had kind of forgotten my roots, even though I was still a die hard fan of aggressive music, but more so the hardcore stuff. When I discovered this music in grade 9 I completely turned my back on the music that got me there in the first place, bands such as Iron Maiden & AC/DC. I even sold all those old records in Toronto at various used record stores, hell I even dumped a crate on the sidewalk of stuff nobody wanted to buy like Ratt & Twisted Sister.
Now a young man of 20 years old, I was seeng the error of my ways. These were my musical roots. If it wasn't for these bands I wouldn't be the person I am...or the person I was at this point in time, which is basically the same person I am today as I write this. I had realized the error of my ignorant ways, and the only way to fix this was to re-embrace the music I loved growing up as a child. I needed to get back to my roots, so I went right back to the beginning, the band who arguably started it all, Black Sabbath.
Shane had quite a lot of their stuff on cd, so I started exploring the albums I'd never heard before. Records such as Technical Ecstasy, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, and Never Say Die. I had only owned Paranoid, Volume 4, and Live Evil, so this was a whole new world to me. I just couldn't get enough of them. Even to this day when I listen to Sabbath I can't describe the way it makes me feel. It's almost like a magical right of passage or a religious experience. Hearing those riffs that caused a ripple effect that is still rippling over 40 years later in the metal scene. I get goosebumps every time they molest my ears.
I have always tried to live regret free, but I still regret getting rid of all those old records. Thankfully I kept some of the more sentimental ones, but one thing was for certain... I'd never sell a record again, and I would never turn my back again on the things that made me the person I am...