The Wild Ones

The weekend ritual of bar hopping in Toronto had most certainly caused some strain on mine & Tara's relationship, and like the old saying goes "All good things must come to an end". We had been together roughly two years through good times and bad times. Our bond was toxic at times, generally when alcohol came into play. Regardless, our household was down from six to four people now, which meant another increase in rent for us.

One fateful night she showed up drunk to collect whatever belongings she had left at the house. Her and Shayne got into an altercation and she started throwing a barrage of full blown fisticuffs to his face and head. Not one to hit a woman, he opted to go in the garage and proceeded to throw a spare tire through the windshield of her jeep. Tara ran to the neighbours, phone calls were made, and in the blink of an eye the boys in blue showed up and hauled Shayne off to the drunk tank for the night. To this day I'm still dumbfounded how someone who was intoxicated, driving at that, assaulting people, and essentially breaking and entering, got to walk free while Shayne spent the night at the iron bar hotel. 

Speaking of alcohol, Mike C. was partaking from time to time, but generally to the extreme. Over the past 3-4 months I had literally seen Mike blacked out, passed out drunk, yet still standing. It seemed like every time we went drinking now it ended up with Mike asleep on his feet. This also caused him to become a different person, one who was more belligerent towards the people he cared about. One night in particular it sounded like someone was trying to kick the door down at about 3 a.m. I could see it was Michael through the window, so I unlocked the door to let him in. As I opened the door Mike fell right to the ground, the door was the only thing that had been holding him up. As I started helping him up I noticed he had some visible wear and tear on his face. I asked him what happened and he told me John McCuish had done this to him.

I couldn't understand what was happening. These guys were close friends, band mates, and fellow Scottsman. I helped Mike up to his bed and by the time we got there he collapsed into the mattress and immediately threw up between the wall and the bed. I was worried Mike might be concussed so I kept an eye on him, but I also called John in the middle of the night and started freaking out on him. John was super irate and explained everything that had happened between them that night. As it turned out Mike got into one of his belligerent black outs and had caused the whole debacle. A man can only be pushed so far before he snaps, and Mike had clearly pushed John passed the point of no return.

I really hoped Mike would see this as a wake up call now and perhaps slow down a bit on the sauce, and indeed he did. There was no bad blood between these two and they remained "brothers" for many years to come. 

ILLUSTRATION BY MIKE CHAPMAN

I can't recall exactly how, but an old friend resurfaced around this time. It was none other than Indy filmmaker Owen Roberts, the man who was responsible for giving us the Epileptic Brain Surgeons music video for "Cows". I suspect Mike C. was instrumental in Owen resurfacing, as Mike still worked with Owen's audio engineer Stuart. It was cool having Owen back on the scene again 4 years later. He was the same old guy, but now sporting a half sleeve tattoo of an old ghetto scene. We sat around the kitchen table drinking, smoking, and reminiscing. 

As the conversation unfolded we eventually stumbled onto the topic of film making. Owen was still very much wielding his trusted camera, and he was looking for a new project. I do not remember specifics of the who what when wheres and whys, but by the end of the night it was official: Owen was going to shoot a video for Wiggaz...

Horizontal Underground

1995 had kicked off with a real bang. Wiggaz & Black Belt Jones continued to play gigs together when we could, which was always very draining on me psychically. I never let that stop me mind you, as I always wanted to give the best of myself to our audiences, even if it was 20 people or 200. 

We were still going to clubs in the city, but it was becoming quite difficult to get into the bars downtown now after Mike C had rushed some bouncers. When one door closes another door opens, and such was the case... But two doors had opened.

There were two new clubs on Queen street in Toronto that had opened literally across the street from each other. The first one was called "Velvet Underground" and it was very reminiscent of the Boom Boom Room, minus the caged dancers and dual levels. The place did boast a pretty sweet pool table lounge as well as a mysterious old bowling alley. Musically they were playing the same stuff we would typically here at the Boom Boom, but the clientele had changed a bit. There were many more clean cut college kids filling the dance floor, but we still had some great times there.

On the other side of the road there was a small hole in the wall of a club that was strictly catering to rap, hip hop, & r&b. It was called "The Horizontal Boogie Bar" and it's no surprise that this place was right up my alley. Generally we'd go there first for drinks until the place packed up, then we'd cross the street and close out the Velvet. I personally liked the Horizontal much better, and a lot of times I chose to stay there while my posse headed across the road. 

The vibe was awesome there, great music, friendly people, cheap drinks, good looking ladies dancing, and a super nice DJ named Mike Nice, who would ALWAYS play our requests for us. I liked the club so much I even once tried to get a job there as a bus boy. The only catch to me staying behind there was I'd lose my friends at times. Generally I could prowl the club district and find them, but there was one particular time I could not. 

It was 2-3 a.m. and I had no money on me, although I did have another type of green. I decided to start flagging down cabbies, the only problem was majority of them were Indian. When I finally found a Caucasian driver I explained my situation to him and he agreed to drive me back to Brampton. I couldn't believe it. The best part was the driver didn't even really take much green from me. It had restored my faith in humanity to know there was still good people in this world who weren't just out for a buck.

On the Homefront, Shayne & Pauline had decided to part ways, so she moved out and our rent slightly increased. He was civil enough to switch bedrooms with Tara and I, so we now inhabited the master bedroom, which was soon over run with an assortment of reptiles she had been acquiring from her new job at Super Pet. Our room was starting to more so resemble a zoo than sleeping quarters. 

I was still working midnights at the gas station for Shayne's mom, generally Sunday, Monday, & Tuesday nights. The rest of the week I'd be home with the homeboys either slanging, hanging, or banging out music in the basement. We were still congregating in the kitchen quite a bit, where the ghetto blaster was usually playing "Enter The 36 Chambers" by a new hiphop super group called The Wu-Tang Clan. As much as I was digging Wu-Tang, I was slightly disturbed by the fact they were on the Kung-Fu tip just like Black Belt Jones were. Once again a group had unknowingly taken a page from the Brampton books, and I feared most people would assume we ripped off Wu-Tang, but such was not the case I can assure you that.

Mortal Kombat II had been released for Sega Genesis awhile back, so there were many countless smoke filled nights in the basement with Jay Poole, Sanjai, Mike C, Pauly, and everyone else that was on the MKII "Pro Tour" as I used to call it. We'd have tournaments all the time and the fun seemed to never end. I even had a little black book with all the fatalities I had hand written myself. Some of my most fondest memories were forged in that basement and they are still dear and close to my heart in this present time. 

BBJ were still playing the material on our demo, as it was all so fresh and new to us. Wiggaz on the other hand had a demo tape that didn't include their current vocalist, yours truly, so Greg and the boys decided it was time to write some new material and record a new demo...

Clubbing 101

When the deadly duo of Wiggaz and Black Belt Jones weren't ripping up dingy clubs together on weekends, you could usually find our crew at a number of bars in the downtown Toronto area, and we were always rolling deep.

Between the four of us guys who lived together, we had quite the posse of friends. We each had our own friends, we each had some mutual friends, and we each had made new friends through our circle of people. Our house had become the hot spot on weekends where everyone would congregate to "pre-bash" as we used to call it...meaning we would partake in some drinking before heading out to the bars, in order to save money I suppose, although I'd easily spend $50 minimum every time we went to a bar or club. 

Generally when we were going to a club in the city, we'd have a convoy of cars leaving our house simultaneously. We'd also have other friends meet us at said clubs. It wasn't uncommon for us to have a group of 20-30 people at a time on any given night, which meant a nice secure feeling of friendship, safety, and loyalty.

Our bar(s) of choice were mainly The Bovine Sex Club and The Boom Boom Room, both of which were basically in spitting distance of each other. The bovine was cool, but it's a very small club, and when packed tight wth people it could easily make one highly claustrophobic. The Boom Boom Room was definitely the club of choice. It had a cool layout, go go dancers in cages, decent music, and they always had deals on drinks. 

We generally had fun without bringing any negativity to the table, after all we were there to have a good time, not to cause trouble. But of course trouble found us from time to time, which was generally bad news for "trouble".

One night I was grooving on the dance floor with some ladies and I noticed someone kept bumping me from behind. I tried my best to ignore it as I was having a great night, until I unexpectedly went slamming down to the ground. As quickly as I hit the floor I was back on my feet facing the assailant, who ended up being much bigger than myself. I asked him what his fucking problem was and he answered by wrapping one of his oversized mitts around my neck. Not one to be intimidated easily, I latched my grasp onto his Adam's apple and began to squeeze. His friends kept looking back and for between us to see who'd give first. 

What happened next seemed like an illusion. Somehow the big guy magically lifted off his feet and levitated about a foot in the air, then he went flying backwards and slammed into a wall. Through the cigarette smoke and flashing lights I realized it was my boys who had performed this magic trick. As the giant hit the wall and fell, all of his belongings when scattering about, which my friends eagerly retrieved. The bouncer saw the whole ordeal and threw him out, then apologized to me for the inconvenience. After all we were good customers who spent a lot of money there and we never caused trouble, we just ended it. I'll never forget driving home with Gerg that night, who had just so happened to pocket the big boys pager. Greg clipped it onto the sun visor in his car as a souvenir of the nights debauchery. We had laughs for weeks as the chump kept paging himself in an attempt to find his lost belongings. 

Once the clubs let out we would all head somewhere to eat, usually a roti or shawarma place. Although I usually headed to a small Jamaican place that was a hole in the wall, but they had the best damn curry chicken in the city. We'd generally see some ruckus in our journeys too considering there were so many clubs in that area which catered to different crowds. It wasn't uncommon to see fights in the street after the bars let out.

After months of hitting up the Boom Boom, there was an incident that put the kibosh on our fun. Mike C had gone to eat, or check out another club perhaps, and when he returned to the Boom Boom Room the bouncers wouldn't let him back in as he was clearly intoxicated. For some reason Mike decided it would be a good idea to bend over and charge the doormen headfirst like a wild bull. It was a valiant effort by Mike but he was denied entry.

The next weekend we decided to goto the Bovine as we figured Mike wouldn't be let in the Boom Boom, and wouldn't you know it the same bouncer worked at both clubs! As fate would have it he remembered Mike and denied us entry. We headed up to the Boom Boom and managed to get in, as different bouncers were working.

Each weekend now became a crap shoot because we never knew what bar we would go to. It was either one or the other depending on the bouncers, but said bouncer had now informed other bouncers of Mike's antics, which made it more and more difficult to get into a club as the weeks passed. 

One thing was apparent... It was time for us to find a new club...

 

Stage Fright 101

The duo of Black Belt Jones and Wiggaz seemed to be getting over quite well with audiences, so we continued to play shows together. That of course meant I had to perform double duty as I was now the lead vocalist in both outfits. I had been plagued with anxiety over replacing Mike in Wiggaz, but that was short lived. 

Mike came to us all as a group and as friends, to inform us that he would be stepping away from the band scene to focus on life and his new bride Myra. We all accepted that and gave him our best. I hated to see him go from BBJ as I felt he was a very important and instrumental part of the band. Michael was literally one of, if not the most talented player I had met yet in my journeys. As sad as it was to see him go, it was also a relief that there were no issues with Wiggaz replacing him with me before even communicating with him. That never sat right with me. I felt it was somewhat disrespectful towards him, and a bit of a dick move on Greg's part. But then again, sometimes things just happen in the heat of the moment and we have no control over them.

When music is in your blood, it is in there for life, and such was true in Mike's case as well. Shortly after disbanding us, the music bug bit him again. He began creating songs with his wife Myra, and they ended up recruiting former EBS drummer John McCuish. The trio would come to be known as "ETHER" an experimental project in the vain of the band "Ween". I don't think they took things too seriously, and they sure as hell weren't out trying to book gigs or get a record deal, but they were creating something, which is really all that is important at the end of the day. Even if it is just for ones own piece, or peace, of mind.

I was still working midnights at the gas station, and I was still writing lyrics like a mad man. I was frequently tuning into college radio stations during my shifts, and since work was slow, I made an effort to promote our bands as much as I could when the opportunity presented itself. There were a few times that radio stations invited us in for interviews but I had to decline because of work. On some occasions the guys would go without me, and they'd even call me at work and put me on air to join in. It was truly a magical time in my life.

When performing with Wiggaz, I was still wearing my Dad's old suit and the devil mask. I decided I wanted to spice things up with BBJ and bring some level of character to the band, so I started wearing an Afro wig and sunglasses. I'd been performing in front of crowds for close to 8 years now, yet I still suffered some form of "stage fright". It wasn't uncommon for me to stand sideways on stage, or even almost turn my back completely to the crowd. With my Wiggaz disguise I discovered it opened me up more, gave me more confidence, and in turn a greater stage presence. I figured if it worked for Wiggaz it should work for BBJ.

My assumptions were correct. The simple disguise gave me a new level of confidence, and the sunglasses helped me look straight into the crowd without having to make eye contact with anyone. This loosened me up tremendously, which again in turn gave me a better stage presence. I was no longer an immobile object. I was grooving and shaking my shit, much to my own surprise.

With Mike gone we also had to make some changes to the band. Pauly & Mike C. would now have to share stringed duties. We never could decide who should play what, so the guys opted to play both bass and guitar. Once we ironed everything out we had a new formula. Some songs Paul would play bass, on other songs he would play guitar. The same applied for Mike C. We had reached an agreement that worked for all of us collectively, which meant the "Kung Funk" would live on...

http://youtu.be/yX6pXVbuI1E

Black Belt Jones Interview

UPDATE 02/22/2016

Greetings & salutation readers! I hope the new year has been kind towards you all thus far. I'd like to take a quick moment to bring you up to speed with everything. I know I made a New Years resolution to post weekly, and I've been trying to believe me. Life just seems to keep getting in the way, but I will continue to tell my story whenever I get the chance.

Musically I have had a lot going on. I've been grinding away on my latest full length "THEOKOLES" and I'm getting close to the finish line. The album will hopefully be released in the very early spring. It's quite different from my other work, yet consistent with my style. I stepped out of the box a bit musically but it seems to be all for the better. The new LP will feature 14 tracks or so with a running time of 40-45 minutes roughly. 

There are a couple of tracks produced by special mystery guests, and I will also be joined by a couple of mystery guests on a few tracks as well. I'm very much looking forward to dropping this for your ear holes to enjoy! 

I'm also working on my hardcore rap metal project "If you want C.H.U.D... YOU GOT IT" and that too is shaping up nicely. I've payed homage to some classic bands by sampling their music and writing lyrics inspired by them. I've also got a handful of original tracks produced by numerous friends, as well as a few cover songs to boot. I will most likely include a few unreleased songs as bonus tracks as well. Be prepared for the thunder this summer...

That's all from me for now, until next time...

- K

The Birth of Satin

Shortly after the success of our first Brampton show, we decided to hold another Wiggaz/Black Belt Jones double header at the famous, or infamous, El Macambo club in Toronto. I'd played there a few times over the past few years, and even though it was somewhat of a rundown, sketchy place, it was always a pleasure to do my thing there. The walls were adorned with photos of bands that had blessed audiences over the decades, including the Rolling Stones. It always felt magical to step on that stage which had been shared by countless legendary performers. 

The "Elmo" had a downstairs and an upstairs, and in these days most shows were taking place on the ground floor. The was no actual backstage area per-say, so the bands would congregate in the kitchen, which was located behind the stage. The kitchen contained a stairwell at the back of the room that led to the upstairs, and that was generally where the herbal olympics would take place. I have many fond memories of sharing drinks and conversations back there with a lot of great people who were class acts.

A mere week or two before the show, we were all somewhat shook by some news that Mike Myers dropped on us. Mike informed us that he would be getting married to his girlfriend Myra, and he would not be able to join us at the upcoming show. Not only did this mean we were out of a bass player, it also meant that Wiggaz now had no vocalist. Since we had two guitarist it was a pretty easy fix for Black Belt. Either Mike or Paul would play bass, and the other would play guitar...or perhaps each of them would play a bit of both. Regardless, it was a simple bandaid to apply.

Wiggaz on the other hand were in a bit of a pickle. I sat with them at the kitchen table of the Slayer House one night and we all brainstormed, trying to come up with some ideas for a temporary replacement. We eventually came to the conclusion that I was really the only person who knew their lyrics inside out, my only dilemma was I didn't want to be seen as the same vocalist in two different bands performing on the same night. I proposed the idea of possibly wearing some sort of disguise and the boys were on board. 

Greg later mentioned to me that his sister had acquired some devil mask from a haunted house job she temporarily held that past Halloween. I told him to bring it on by, and in the meantime I took a trip to my parents place, as they had boxes of old clothes in the basement. After some rummaging through boxes and closets, I dug out one of my father's old suits that had to be from the 70s. It was beige and plaid, and what I would refer to as a "Herb Tarlic suit" similar to those worn by a character on the old television show "WKRP In Cincinnati" I also found an interesting silk dress shirt that was printed with ghetto like buildings...It screamed disco. The coup de gras was a pair of brown leather platform dress shoes, also straight off of Soul Train. My ensemble was complete, and I was ready for the show. 

I never did see the devil mask until the day of the gig, and it was more incredible than I had anticipated. It was very form fitting, the lips hooked into my lips, the jaw was slit under the cheeks enabling mouth movement, the brow even sat snug in my brow. Nose and ears fit into place perfectly. It was as if this mask was made for my head. I put it aside with my get up, and got ready to hit the stage with BBJ.

Despite being handicapped one player, we managed to pull off a decent set that night, and got the usual warm reception that we were rapidly growing accustomed to. There was a bit of a break between bands, so I cooled down, caught my breath, and had a drink and a smoke. From there I started suiting up, and everyone "backstage" was dying with laughter at "the suit" Wiggaz had a song called "Satin" and with my slick threads and devil mask, Satin was now here and real... In the flesh. The time had come for Wiggaz to hit the stage. I was nervous yet focused, as I didn't want to screw up.

I honestly don't remember much of the performance that night, but I do remember that having that mask on seemed to transform me. I was generally a bit shy on stage, but in full costume it seemed to open me up more and I was a complete mad man. We gave the on lookers quite a show that night, and after our final song we shuffled off stage to a roaring applause. As soon as we got back stage Greg approached me with a wild look of euphoria in his eyes and proclaimed "DUDE YOU GOTTA BE OUR NEW FULL TIME SINGER AND I WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!!!" 

That was it. The Wiggaz were now OFFICIALLY born. I was overwhelmed and taken back by the whole thing, and I really couldn't stop wondering how Mike was going to take the news that he was no longer in the band...

(Artist conception of Satin in Saints Row videogame)

 

Hometown Heroes

1995 had arrived and it was the dawn of a new era. Black Belt Jones had released our demo tape, and we had played a couple of "Elvis Monday's" at The El Macambo. The audiences were generally very responsive to the new sounds we were bringing to the table. As much as we appreciated the support of the Toronto people, we were itching to play a show in our home town of Brampton. 

Unfortunately the club Tremors had recently been shut down due to underage patrons being served alcohol, so we now had nowhere to play. I can't even remember who or how this happened, but one of my friends discovered we could have a show in the basement of a pub called "The Ivy Bridge" which was located in the Brampton Mall. We set the wheels in motion to book a gig, and we decided that we would play with Wiggaz, as they now had a demo tape as well, and enough material to perform a short set.

As per usual I drafted up a hand made flyer for the show. Once it was complete I went to the local print shop and fired some copies off. It was now time to spam the town. There weren't many places to advertise per say, but thankfully a few record shops distributed flyers for us, as did our good pal Munish at T-Shirt Palace. Our music was ready to present, the date had been set, our guerrilla marketing was in effect, and we were more than ready to rock this show. Our fate now rested in the hands of the Brampton scene.

When the night of the show was finally upon us, we were overwhelmed by the amount of people who showed up. The basement of The Ivy wasn't a big room by any means, and we were pushing the fire code limit. The place was ram packed to the gills and filled with the smell of smoke and alcohol. Old friends, new friends, and people I'd never even seen before, all filled the room from wall to wall and front to back. The Ivy Bridge didn't have a stage so we set up on the floor. A fellow named Martin worked there, and he helped set the whole thing up. I believe Rob from Wiggaz knew him, and he may have been the key that made this night happen.

Our bass player Mike had been recruited to sing for the Wiggaz, so he was actually pulling double duty on this evening. Both bands put on killer performances and we had the crowd in the palm of our hands. The mosh pit was thrashing and I'm sure a few bottles of beer fell casualty to the hard concrete floor. I honestly think people were just happy to have live music back in Brampton. 

At the end of our set we decided to have a freestyle contest, meaning anyone from the audience could come up and bust a rhyme while BBJ supplied the music. Not many were brave enough to come up, but one girl named Jen had the guts to. She was the girlfriend of Frank, the Wiggaz drummer. Although her rhyme was simple, and possibly not her original lyrics, it was still an amazing sight to see. Pauly had made a one of a kind BBJ shirt to award the winner, and Jen took said shirt home with her on that night. 

We didn't know it at the time, but the open mic freestyle session would become a staple of our sets in the days ahead. It would end up being the way we closed out every gig we played. On this particular night however, once we had finished performing, I decided it was a good idea to throw a proper party at the Slayer House. I literally made an open invitation on the microphone to every single person in the bar to come back and party with us, and the majority of them did.

We ended up with a house full of people and we partied hearty until the sun began to peek over the horizon. The night was a success, the after party was a success, and we were all itching to do it again as soon as possible...