Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Grand Ole' Party Crashers

June of 1991 was an epic month in my life. Woodstock was a success and people would definitely be talking about it for years to come. Asides from my friends and I throwing the biggest party during our high school run, graduation was now around the corner. I was happy to be saying goodbye to school life, but I just felt so dis attached from the whole event. None of my friends were really in school with me anymore, so it wasn't like I even had people to celebrate with. Hell, I never even bothered getting grad photos done, much to the dismay of my mother.

So if I wasn't excited about my own graduation then what was I to do? Crashing other schools grad parties seemed like a logical idea! A co worker of mine who attended Aquinas catholic high school, invited me to her grad party at some hotel in Mississauga. I knew she had a crush on me, and I wasn't very interested in her, but I wasn't going to miss out on the chance to party crash.

I ended up going with Jerry, Foxy Bano, & Lance Romance. Somehow I managed to get my hands on a 40 ouncer of tequila, but I only brought one can of pop for mix. After my first stiff drink the can of pop was gone so I started drinking right out the bottle. At one point I stuck my torso out the window to talk to some people I knew. I had a beer in hand one of the girls had given me. Next thing I know a female cop was instructing me to come out of the window. I ended up in the back of the car and we hadn't even been at the party for 30 minutes. 

The officer told me I would be receiving a fine for drinking in public, which we called a "53" as the ticket price was $53.75. We'll as fate would have it, the fine penalty had just been doubled, and was now increased to $107.50. Thankfully for me, I had no identification on me, and an attitude that I wasn't going to go out like that. I totally bullshitted the cop in regards to all my personal info. I even told her my name was Anthony Kiedis, lead singer of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. After receiving my fine I left the car, chewed the ticket up, and spit out the wet, shredded pieces of paper in front of everyone who had just witnessed the altercation. The officer in question was still literally right behind me in her car. I headed back into the hotel room and reclaimed my bottle of Tequila.

From that point forward shit got crazy. I had no mix left, and I ended up drinking the entire 40 oz. of tequila straight. By this point we were all insanely drunk, so naturally it was time for the madness to ensue. We ran around the hallways smashing all the light fixtures and mirrors. Not satisfied with the level of darkness, we decided to find the main circuit panel for the entire hotel. We took every single fuse and smashed them. The hotel was now in complete blackout mode. From there we started working our way from room to room, walking in on unknown strangers parties, yet nobody knew who anyone was because it was so dark. We proceeded to steal what alcohol we could and raid the over priced mini fridges. Then we would head to the next room and repeat the process.

Before long it seemed like everyone started following suit, crazed drunken fools now ran amok, arson and vandalism in full swing. The pinnacle of party crashing was reached when a television from one of the rooms managed to find its way through a plate glass door. After that, police presence was high, people were getting kicked out of their rooms left right and centre, and we were booting down the road in our escape vehicle laughing hysterically. I felt amazing and could not believe I was in such great shape after drinking an entire 40 of tequila to myself. It was my first time trying it and I loved it. I had heard a lot of people's horror stories in regards to Tequila, but she was alright in my books.

Ironically, the story made it to the local paper that week. The article however claimed that a gang of skinheads were responsible for the chaos. I couldn't stop laughing as only one out of the four of us had a shaved head at the time. Regardless of the medias false portrayal of us, we were now infamous! 

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