Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Party Animals From Hell pt.3


It was a bit chilly when we arrived at Wasaga Beach on the Thursday eve, but after that the weather was beautiful, and this late Saturday morning was no exception. One of my friends had fallen asleep on the beach the previous night and the poor guy was now burnt to a crisp. It was a relaxing morning to say the least. Light drinking and smoking and of course our music blaring. The beach was starting to fill up with people and I could only imagine how horrified some of these families would be when we kicked the party back into high gear.

A few of the guys went into town to pick up a few things and do some sight seeing. I decided to stay behind and chill. A few random strangers visited the site from time to time, most of whom had been there partying with us the night before. Most of them generally wanted to stop by and say hello and thank us for the great time. During some of my conversations with these random strangers, there was a reoccurring theme that kept coming up. Folks who had joined us the previous night were now warning others to stay away from "the crazy people" Even the punk ass high school kids staying behind us had apparently warned a few people to steer clear of us as we were crazy. When the guys got back from town they shared similar stories of "the crazy people" I thought it was hilarious that folks were so intimidated by our wild ways.

As if there wasn't enough of us crazies already, even MORE friends were showing up now, most of whom made the commute just for the Saturday. Our group just kept getting bigger. We must of had about 40-60 of our close friends together now. We all sat in the sun drinking and socializing while others were playing games on the beach. Our music in full bloom, our uniqueness in full bloom, the beach goers couldn't keep their attentions off of us.

Later in the day one of the guys stumbled upon someone who was selling LSD, so a bunch of the guys decided to drop acid. I wanted to partake, but truth be told I didn't have a penny to my name. I had paid my portion for the cottage ahead of time, but I literally came with food and alcohol. Realizing I still had a small cooler full of prime cuts, I decided to try and haggle for a hit. Sure enough the dealer was happy to take a high quality steak in exchange for a $5.00 blotter. One could only ponder how wild things would get now with us crazy people.

As the sun set the party livened, yet it seemed like a small gathering compared to the previous night. Someone mentioned in passing that the Toronto Maple Leafs were playing a hockey game, and if they lost they'd be out of the playoffs. It all made sense now why nobody was around. Despite that we kept the party going. At one point I went into my buddy Gooch's tent and realized he was harboring the mother load of fireworks. I asked him if we could shoot some off and he quickly said no, as he was saving them for Sunday.

Someone ended up getting the Leafs game on a radio, so that folks could keep in the loop. I for one just wanted this game to end already so we could really get the party going. Things weren't looking good for Toronto, and as fate would have it they lost the game and were eliminated from the playoffs. Right when the game ended I snuck into Gooch's tent and snagged a massive firework. I stepped out of the tent, lit it, and held it like a machine gun, as I blasted colourful fireballs towards the cottages behind us. It seemed like the firework hadn't even finished yet, and all the high school kids came pouring out of their cottages and joined our festivities. Apparently we weren't THAT crazy considering they were all coming to party with us again.

The night raged on, the music was louder than ever, and our fire was dancing high in the sky once again. Just like the precious night, people were walking miles to our site to see what all of the commotion was. I swear there was twice as many people as the night before, anywhere from 200-400 people. Jay Dove had put in a reggae mixtape and I was absolutely loving it. I'd never really been into reggae much, asides from a bit of Marley, Tosh, and Bad Brains, but i couldn't get enough of this mixtape. We must of played it a few times over. It consisted of songs mostly from Supercat, NinjaMan, Cutty Ranks, and Shabba Ranks, just to name a few. I don't know if the acid had something to do I with it, but this was all I wanted to listen to.

Things really started to get crazy as the night progressed. We had ran out of firewood, so now we were burning anything in sight. Pick nick tables, chairs, you name it. At some point I was even sitting on a burning chair in the middle of the fire. I remember someone taking a picture of me, that I saw at a later date, but I can't remember which of my friends it was. There was a small storage shed beside the cottage, and even that was ripped apart board by board and thrown into the flames. Nothing was safe, and that became evident when a few of the guys pulled a two seater couch out of the cottage and tossed it on the fire.

There were tons of people around who we didn't know, so we tried to stick together in groups just in case any shit popped off. As expected, there was an obnoxiously drunk guy getting on everyone's nerves. Some girl ended up laying the guy out with a few punches and kicks. You'd think he'd learn a lesson, but no, instead he foolishly ventured into the kitchen of our cottage where the sound system was. He was in the wolves den now. 

The stereo was set up on the kitchen counter right beside the sink, which was full of water, dirty dishes and empty beer bottles. Obnoxious guy tried to change the music without asking, which led to a scuffle, which led to him ALMOST knocking the stereo into the sink. This sparked my friend Shayne, who immediately grabbed the guy and started grappling with him. Shayne smashed the dudes head into the fridge so hard that it almost fell over. He then tackled him to the floor, which was now about an inch thick of beer, mud, and broken glass. Shayne literally rubbed this poor bastard's face into the floor declaring "YOU'RE NOT A TRUE PARTIER!!!!!" After his second ass kicking of the evening, we ejected him and decided that no more outsiders would be allowed inside our cottage.

Apparently this guy didn't know when to quit, as he was still stumbling around talking shit and trying to pick fights. A few of us were just getting the BBQ ready for a late night snack, when you know who came along looking for trouble. As soon as he walked around the corner and opened his mouth, my friend Mike Lomas punched him square in the face. The blow literally sent the guy flying off his feet and he crash landed into the BBQ. Someone dragged his sorry carcass away from the wreckage and that was the last of him.

Amongst all the chaos and hundreds of people, some random guy came up to me and asked if I was the drummer for Grasshopper. Even though I no longer was, the guy totally blew me away. I asked him how he knew about Grasshopper and he replied "I don't, that girl over there asked me to ask you" I looked over in the direction he pointed to see a familiar face. A young girl named Leah, the sister of a hardcore skate punk named Rob from Brampton who used to come to all of our gigs with his buddy Duncan. Leah wasn't so young anymore mind you, and she had developed quite amazingly. 

I walked over to her and said hello. We got to chatting, and I was surprised to learn that neither Rob or Duncan was here, she had came up with friends of hers from school. Leah was always nice and respectful, as was I to her, but it was apparent she wanted to get a bit naughty on this particular night, constantly flirting with me and showering me with kisses. Eventually she brought me back to her cottage, it was getting close to sunrise.

I was still totally awake due to the acid, but not even five minutes after crawling into bed Leah passed out in a drunken mess. Needless to say I was slightly disappointed. The room she was staying in had sliding glass doors that led out to the beach. I had to pee really bad so I quietly slid the door open and slipped outside. I don't know if it was the drugs, but I had major stage fright. There wasn't a soul in sight for miles, but for the life of me I just couldn't go. I finally found a secluded area where I felt comfortable, but as I started to unzip, my bowels informed me that a number two was on deck. Crap! There was no way I could poop on the beach. I decided to head back into Leah's cottage and find a bathroom. 

It was probably about 7-8am by this point, so I figured everyone would be asleep. As I tiptoed through the cottage, I passed a living room area that was full of people on couches and in sleeping bags. Most of them were awake, and they all stopped mid convo to eyeball me as I passed by. I said "Hey" with a quick wave of the hand, then headed to the can. I don't think I'd had a movement the entire weekend, so needless to say I destroyed that toilet. Finally relaxed and relieved, I finished up and flushed the toilet. Then the horror....

I guess the cottage and plumbing were very old, because as soon as I flushed the toilet the water level started rising, and it didn't stop. Before I even knew what was happening there was sewage spewing over the seat and onto the floor, which was covered in all of these people's clothes, towels, and personal belongings. I backed away in shock as the shit storm slowly cornered me. My back hit the door, so I turned around, opened the door quickly and shut it behind me. 

I passed by the group of people in the living room, and smiled and waved as if nothing had happened, from there I headed back into Leah's room and made my great escape out the back door before her fiends realized what I had left behind for them. Talk about embarrassing. 

It was now morning and I had no idea where the hell I was. Thankfully I remembered which way we walked the previous night, so I made my way back down the beach towards our cottages. I had only been walking maybe 5-10 minutes when something caught my attention. The glint of a fire and the sound of music. I strained my eyes and my ears, then quickly realized it was "Party" by Ice T that was playing. I followed the flame and the sound of Ice, and within minutes I was "home" again...

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